Recently, a political ad proclaimed, "Criticism is not leadership," a statement that caused some controversy. As someone who was in a leadership position until my recent retirement, I reflected on my beliefs and my experiences as I thought about this statement.
There are lots of books, articles, research, and blogs about leadership, and I’ve read my share of them. Yet I believe that I learned best from those around me. I observed leaders in action and reflected on what made them successful or why they might be having difficulty. I believe that everyone can be a leader. In a classroom, all students can be leaders if given the opportunity. In a school or business, every staff member has strengths that can be maximized to benefit the organization. It takes a culture where ideas are valued and people feel confident that they will be listened to.
It is important to know the history, culture, and the relationships in order to understand the challenges and how to address them. Coming from the outside and having never been a principal was a barrier for me when I was first appointed, one I knew I would have to overcome. It would be my actions that would determine whether the school community would accept me as their leader and decide to join in the conversation about what we might keep and what we might change. I found that listening to the conversations, building relationships, and asking questions really helped me to understand the strengths and the challenges at our school and how we could continue to improve.
In my over fifteen years as the principal, our school community initiated the discussions that led to changes that eventually were implemented school-wide. Some examples are: co-teaching, inclusive classrooms; blended learning classroom environments where students have daily access to technology to explore, discover, create, and share; project-based learning where students are actively engaged and empowered to make a difference in their world; professional learning communities based on teacher interest; and school community meetings held virtually via social media.
An environment of trust is essential when a new idea is proposed. At our school, we agreed that once an idea is put on the table, we no longer "own" it. It is now open for discussion and questions, and changes to the initial idea may be necessary. Sometimes, decisions can be agreed on quickly; other times, it takes longer or the team decides to put the idea on-hold until later; and at other times, teachers agree to try out their proposal and share their progress with the rest of the team.
Not all ideas will work. And some ideas will be started in one administration and continue - and hopefully improve - under the next administration. Leadership is about recognizing that a win-win can be achieved by working together and being mindful of others’ ideas as well as any concerns that need to be addressed.
What is criticism and does it lead to better results? Criticism, according to dictionary.com is “the act of passing severe judgment; censure; faultfinding.” When someone criticizes another person’s ideas, especially without offering proposals of their own, discussion ceases or people begin to take sides. When it's the leader criticizing, staff will lose trust and the willingness to share ideas. The culture of collaboratively seeking solutions and an environment of trust will need to be rebuilt, if that is possible.
Too often in today’s world, we fail to listen to other people’s concerns and viewpoints. Empathy for others is necessary if we are to resolve our problems, not just for today, but for future generations. Rather than criticizing others’ ideas or actions, effective leaders know how to engage our communities respectfully so we can all be part of the solution.
Tuesday, July 31, 2018
Saturday, July 14, 2018
Aloha, Jarand
We bid our final farewell to our second son Jarand in a Celebration of Life last weekend. Our family was overwhelmed with the outpouring of love from such a diverse group of people who all were positively impacted by Jarand in some way. The stories people shared about our son were heartwarming and made us proud to have raised such a generous and caring person who made others feel welcome and included.
I grappled with the idea of going public with why Jarand was taken from us when he was just 38 years old and lived life with purpose and passion. It was a difficult decision, but one I think needs to be shared.
Back in January, Jarand went to renew his prescription for his contact lenses. During the examination, his optometrist was alarmed that his eyes were hemorrhaging and immediately sent him to the emergency room. He was hospitalized for five days while they ran tests. Jarand's blood pressure was highly elevated, his heart was enlarged, and he was diagnosed with Stage 5 Kidney Disease. How could we have missed the signs? Jarand was an active young man, and now, his world as he knew it, was about to change drastically. I was ignorant and needed to do research on Chronic Kidney Disease. I knew people who were on dialysis, but I never knew that it is called "the silent killer" because often, there are no symptoms. According to an article, "Chronic kidney disease takes heavy toll in Hawaii," 1 in 7 adults in America are affected by CKD, and the number of deaths has doubled in the past twenty years. In Hawaii, according to statistics, the number of kidney dialysis patients rose 42% between 2006 and 2014. Sobering statistics.
At first, Jarand was in denial; he insisted that he felt fine and was not experiencing the symptoms associated with CKD. To his credit, he read the information that was shared with him, listened to his doctors, followed up with his blood tests and medical appointments, took his medication, changed his eating habits (this was difficult because he loved good food and posted photos on Instagram with the hashtag 'foodporn'), took his blood pressure every morning and evening, and started exercising more regularly. He went to an information session about kidney transplants, and we were ready to be tested to see if any of us were a match for him. Whenever we called or texted Jarand, he insisted that he was doing well. After his last appointment with the nephrologist, Jarand was optimistic; his numbers were improving, and he was very close to being Stage 4 instead of Stage 5. His diligence seemed to be paying off.
On May 19, Jarand went on a Pokemon Go raid with his brother, his nephews, and some friends. When they parted, he hugged and kissed his nephews and said he would be at Jace's soccer game the next day. He called Randy and me and said he had an early appointment with some clients. He went to sleep and passed away peacefully sometime that evening or early the next day. The cause of death, according to the coroner, was Stage 4 Kidney Disease.
I share Jarand's story because so many of us neglect to take care of our health. Jarand didn't look sick. He had actually lost weight (sudden weight loss is a symptom of CKD) and I, as well as others, complimented him on how great he looked. If only I knew . . . In hindsight, we were being optimistic (or were we naive?) that if Jarand took care of himself, and if one of us were a match for a transplant, he would have a second chance at life, albeit one with restrictions. Sadly, that didn't happen.
On July 11, 2018, the Honolulu City Council unanimously approved Resolution 18-134 to name the tennis complex at the Patsy Mink Central Oahu Regional Park after our second son. We are humbled by this honor; this 20-court world-class facility hosts national as well as local tournaments, and it is well-utilized throughout the year by players of all ages. Jarand loved tennis and other sports, but he also loved coaching. He had a positive influence on his players, and they and their parents were among the many who attended his Celebration of Life. At the City Council meeting, Randy shared our testimony, then he read a card we received from one of Jarand's players:
Dear Jarand's family,
Jarand was my soccer coach when I was in middle school. We were called "Chaos!" I played soccer at MHS and then on to college at Pacific University in Oregon. I remember at one practice he made us practice celebrating because he said when we score, we were emotionless. LOL! So he made us scream & jump & even do a victory dance if we scored! I used my celebration skills throughout my whole soccer career. I am now 30 years old and am so grateful for Coach Jarand and that time he gave us . . . He coached us for free! We all loved him.
Love, Brenda Sekigawa
Brenda substitute taught and coached fitness until she became a flight attendant for a major airline. Presently, she works with youth at her church, so she is paying it forward by positively impacting other young lives just as Coach Jarand influenced her's.
We lost Jarand to a disease that is preventable. By sharing Jarand's story, I hope that all those who knew him - as well as those who will see his name at the Jarand M.Y. Iwase Tennis Complex - will take the time to get regular medical checkups so any symptoms, can be addressed immediately before it gets to Stage 4 or 5. As Glen Hayashida President and Chief Executive Officer of the National Kidney Foundation of Hawaii stated, "The solution to address the issue of chronic kidney disease cannot be building more dialysis centers, but unfortunately, that seems to be the track we're on. It's just too expensive of a solution, so we really need to look at prevention. That's really the key to chronic disease."
As a parent, we never think we will outlive our child. I know that Jarand is giving us permission to tell his story so that others will not have to experience the pain of losing our loved ones to chronic kidney disease, the silent killer. Let's take the time to hug those we love a little harder, to live each day to the fullest, to treat others well, and most importantly, to take care of ourselves.
#ahuihoujarand
I grappled with the idea of going public with why Jarand was taken from us when he was just 38 years old and lived life with purpose and passion. It was a difficult decision, but one I think needs to be shared.
Back in January, Jarand went to renew his prescription for his contact lenses. During the examination, his optometrist was alarmed that his eyes were hemorrhaging and immediately sent him to the emergency room. He was hospitalized for five days while they ran tests. Jarand's blood pressure was highly elevated, his heart was enlarged, and he was diagnosed with Stage 5 Kidney Disease. How could we have missed the signs? Jarand was an active young man, and now, his world as he knew it, was about to change drastically. I was ignorant and needed to do research on Chronic Kidney Disease. I knew people who were on dialysis, but I never knew that it is called "the silent killer" because often, there are no symptoms. According to an article, "Chronic kidney disease takes heavy toll in Hawaii," 1 in 7 adults in America are affected by CKD, and the number of deaths has doubled in the past twenty years. In Hawaii, according to statistics, the number of kidney dialysis patients rose 42% between 2006 and 2014. Sobering statistics.
At first, Jarand was in denial; he insisted that he felt fine and was not experiencing the symptoms associated with CKD. To his credit, he read the information that was shared with him, listened to his doctors, followed up with his blood tests and medical appointments, took his medication, changed his eating habits (this was difficult because he loved good food and posted photos on Instagram with the hashtag 'foodporn'), took his blood pressure every morning and evening, and started exercising more regularly. He went to an information session about kidney transplants, and we were ready to be tested to see if any of us were a match for him. Whenever we called or texted Jarand, he insisted that he was doing well. After his last appointment with the nephrologist, Jarand was optimistic; his numbers were improving, and he was very close to being Stage 4 instead of Stage 5. His diligence seemed to be paying off.
On May 19, Jarand went on a Pokemon Go raid with his brother, his nephews, and some friends. When they parted, he hugged and kissed his nephews and said he would be at Jace's soccer game the next day. He called Randy and me and said he had an early appointment with some clients. He went to sleep and passed away peacefully sometime that evening or early the next day. The cause of death, according to the coroner, was Stage 4 Kidney Disease.
I share Jarand's story because so many of us neglect to take care of our health. Jarand didn't look sick. He had actually lost weight (sudden weight loss is a symptom of CKD) and I, as well as others, complimented him on how great he looked. If only I knew . . . In hindsight, we were being optimistic (or were we naive?) that if Jarand took care of himself, and if one of us were a match for a transplant, he would have a second chance at life, albeit one with restrictions. Sadly, that didn't happen.
On July 11, 2018, the Honolulu City Council unanimously approved Resolution 18-134 to name the tennis complex at the Patsy Mink Central Oahu Regional Park after our second son. We are humbled by this honor; this 20-court world-class facility hosts national as well as local tournaments, and it is well-utilized throughout the year by players of all ages. Jarand loved tennis and other sports, but he also loved coaching. He had a positive influence on his players, and they and their parents were among the many who attended his Celebration of Life. At the City Council meeting, Randy shared our testimony, then he read a card we received from one of Jarand's players:
Dear Jarand's family,
Jarand was my soccer coach when I was in middle school. We were called "Chaos!" I played soccer at MHS and then on to college at Pacific University in Oregon. I remember at one practice he made us practice celebrating because he said when we score, we were emotionless. LOL! So he made us scream & jump & even do a victory dance if we scored! I used my celebration skills throughout my whole soccer career. I am now 30 years old and am so grateful for Coach Jarand and that time he gave us . . . He coached us for free! We all loved him.
Love, Brenda Sekigawa
Brenda substitute taught and coached fitness until she became a flight attendant for a major airline. Presently, she works with youth at her church, so she is paying it forward by positively impacting other young lives just as Coach Jarand influenced her's.
We lost Jarand to a disease that is preventable. By sharing Jarand's story, I hope that all those who knew him - as well as those who will see his name at the Jarand M.Y. Iwase Tennis Complex - will take the time to get regular medical checkups so any symptoms, can be addressed immediately before it gets to Stage 4 or 5. As Glen Hayashida President and Chief Executive Officer of the National Kidney Foundation of Hawaii stated, "The solution to address the issue of chronic kidney disease cannot be building more dialysis centers, but unfortunately, that seems to be the track we're on. It's just too expensive of a solution, so we really need to look at prevention. That's really the key to chronic disease."
As a parent, we never think we will outlive our child. I know that Jarand is giving us permission to tell his story so that others will not have to experience the pain of losing our loved ones to chronic kidney disease, the silent killer. Let's take the time to hug those we love a little harder, to live each day to the fullest, to treat others well, and most importantly, to take care of ourselves.
#ahuihoujarand
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)