Sunday, November 20, 2016

Proud Grandma

My son and his family moved away from Hawaii when the boys were 3 years and 1 year old. I was crushed that the grandkids were moving away, but the cost of living was too high here in Hawaii. In our state, `ohana (family) is so important, and I couldn't bear thinking of how it would be to not be able to see our grandsons every week. Thank goodness for cell phones, social media, email, and Hangouts; at least we can keep in touch with how the boys are doing.

Last week, my husband and I took a short trip to visit the boys and to watch them play their last soccer game of the season. My son didn't tell them; it was a surprise, and the boys were delighted that we were there. Being in the same place and being able to talk story with them, hug them, and catch up on how they're doing was so wonderful.

My grandsons alternate between their mom and their dad's homes (they are now divorced). My second son decided to move in with his brother to help take care of his nephews. Observing the boys on this trip, I couldn't help but feel proud that my grandsons are kind, respectful, curious, and alert to things going on around them. It shows that their parents are raising them right. I saw so many evidences that made me proud:

  • Both boys played hard in their soccer games; they were focused and worked well with their teammates. My sons coach both boys' teams, and not once did I hear Jace or Jayden whine or question the coaching or the refereeing or their teammates or opponents.
  • When Jace had assists or scored a goal, he didn't showboat or celebrate. He just turned around, ran back to the their half of the field, and got ready for the next kickoff.
  • Jayden cheered for Jace when he scored a goal; he was genuinely happy for his brother!
  • We went out to eat and the boys participated in the conversation. Often, they wanted me to give them math problems to solve mentally, a request I was happy to accommodate. 
  • The boys did not use technology at mealtime; so often we see kids not even engaged in the conversation or the meal.  Our grandsons don't bring their tablets to the table.
  • We went shopping, and the boys were appreciative to be able to choose what they wanted to buy. They loved that they could buy shirts from Nike and shoes that were not all black, something they're required to wear as part of their school uniform. They didn't whine or act spoiled. I appreciate that.
  • "Grandma, Dad said that we need to respect the office of President. We may not like who won, but he is the President." My son shared that the boys went to sleep on election night, knowing that their candidate did not win. He told them that the sun would still come up the next day, they would still go to school, he would go to work, and life would go on. Obviously, he also told them that the office is to be respected, and that advice stuck with them. I hope they remember that advice throughout their lives.
  • I was especially proud that the boys are interested in what's going on in the world and that they have opinions. When we ask critical-thinking questions, they are able to respond and give reasons for their answers. 
  • Both grandsons are doing well in school. When we picked them up, they got their homework out right away and got working. If they didn't understand what to do, they asked for clarification. Yes, their handwriting wasn't very neat, but they both said their teachers don't require "quality" work. I chose not to go there.

I wish our grandsons could have remained in Hawaii. Our weekends would have been filled with watching their games or having them spend the night with us or going to the beach or to special events. We would be buying them golf clubs or tennis racquets and taking them out to practice. But that is not the case; they have a different life in a different state, and they have other opportunities that we would not be able to provide in Hawaii like being able to drive to a World Cup Qualifying game, or experiencing a Major League baseball game, or getting in the car for a day trip somewhere. Of course, the cost of living is much lower where they are living so we certainly cannot blame them for not coming back home to live.

Being a grandparent is so different from being a parent. People say that, but until I became a grandma, I wasn't sure what they meant. Now I do.  I am more relaxed and can truly enjoy the time we spend with the grandsons. Knowing that they are being raised to be respectful and appreciative for what they have is a bonus.

Yep, I am a proud grandma.

I love these little guys and can't wait to see them again!

1 comment:

  1. Beautiful Jan. I remember seeing our dad with the grandkids (including your sons) and I saw him in a completely different light. Will be a long time until I'm where you are... but time goes by quickly... too quickly!