Third Culture Kids

Imagine moving from Indiana to Japan at the age of 3, the only blonde kid in your school. You spend six years in Japan, then move back to your home country, the United States, only to be teased and bullied for speaking with a Japanese accent and not being able to understand the nuances of the  language. You persevere through several other transitions, each time building your resiliency and transitioning between two cultures. Meet Casey Eugene Bales, 35-year-old author of the recently-published book, Invisible Outsider: From battling bullies to building bridges, my life as a Third Culture Kid. 

Imagine living in Spain for three years then Italy for four years as the child of a parent who served in the diplomatic service. Returning to your passport country, you are totally clueless about the American culture. You look like everyone else, but your clothes are wrong, your haircut is wrong, you don't know how to dial a phone, and you are used to riding in a car with American flags on the hood. You share your experiences in a blog about the bullying you endured when your family returned to the United States. You  turned to reading: "Keeping my nose in a book helped bridge the chasm between my old life and my new existence, and reading about young, strong main characters enabled me to put those bullies in perspective." Meet Margo Sorenson, author of more than thirty books for young readers and a Third Culture Kid.

Imagine living in Italy from age 6-13, immersing yourself in that culture and becoming fluent in the language, then coming back to Philadelphia, not understanding the language because everyone was speaking slang. You need to navigate middle school by yourself because your older sisters are now in high school. Basketball is your ticket to re-assimilate into American culture. Meet Kobe Bryant, one of the greatest basketball players of all time and a Third Culture Kid.

What is a Third Culture Kid? According to Wikipedia, "Third culture kids (TCK) are people who were raised in a culture other than their parents' or the culture of their country of nationality, and also live in a different environment during a significant part of their child development years." 

I had never heard of "Third Culture Kids" or TCKs  until I read Casey's book. There was much to absorb about his description of the different stages of his life as a TCK, and I found myself reflecting on what I read during and after each chapter.  It was not an easy journey, and he shared in an email to me, ". .  . if more educators and kids understood the existence of TCKs, there would be more patience and understanding towards kids with bi/multi-cultural backgrounds. " 

As I reflected on both Casey and Margo's experiences and their comments, I recalled my time as a principal at a military-impacted school and realized that those students could also be considered Third Culture Kids. Like Casey who attended several different schools in Japan and the United States, our military-impacted students often find themselves having to adjust to a new school many times in their lives, often in the middle of the year. TCKs and their families could benefit from learning how to transition to their new environment and to understand the culture of their new home and new school. We in Hawai`i have a unique culture, so students and their families could also learn more about our multicultural society, to respect our unique history, and to care for this place we are proud to call home. Every school should have these kinds of support services, whether from a transition coordinator or a counselor or another staff member or even from trained student ambassadors. When dropped down into a new unfamiliar culture, students may need someone to help them navigate the changes.

I notice a commonality between Casey and Margo as well as many of our TCK students. They are resilient. They persevere. They are empathetic. They are observant. And they are survivors; they may get pushed down, but they get back up. In this mult-cultural world we live in, we should all strive to be like Casey and Margo who share their experiences to bridge understanding between people. Casey writes on page 4 of his book,  "How I wish I could tell my younger me that travel and culture shock would be my birth pains leading to a lifetime passion for developing tolerance, celebrating diversity, and manifesting acceptance toward all cultures. At last, I understand that having so little in common with my peers was the push to make me realize how much I have in common with people the whole world over." And in her email, Margo writes, "I am more than grateful for the experiences, because it has shaped how I interact with people. We TCKs know we need to read body language, listen to intonations in voice, and process cultural differences - which we have done since day one (well, three months old!) - and accept without questioning that other people are different and we are not all the same and that we value others, despite how different they might be."  

Our world is getting smaller. Technology makes it possible to lessen distances between countries and between people. We travel more and relocate more so Third Culture Kids may become more prevalent in the near future. I think of my niece, her husband, and their young children who live in Paraguay. They are having rich experiences, meeting people, and learning a new culture. They will benefit from their TCK experience. Casey closes his book with this: "If I have learned anything from my TCK experience, it is this: anyone is capable of developing tolerance, celebrating diversity, and manifesting acceptance towards others. Inclusion is not a head issue; it's a heart issue. To accept those who are different is a choice."