"Choose Kind"

In my recent post (To the Recent Graduates) I asked our graduates to "Choose kind" - If we all choose to be kind to others, the world would definitely be a better place. Treat others with respect; this is what is lacking in the current administration."

Unfortunately, 'choosing kind' is not as simple as it sounds. Every day, we see videos and read articles about disrespectful behavior in our country, starting with our 'leaders' in the nation's capital. The name-calling, put-downs, insults, intimidation, bullying, disrespect for others, and their lack of empathy and civility are captured 24-7 on news stations and social media sites.  Their words can incite division and inflame racial, religious, or cultural tensions. Rather than addressing the issues which impact our country, they choose to spread misinformation. They refuse to conduct respectful discussions with those they disagree with, discussions which could lead to a compromise and would benefit our citizens. And they have no empathy for those who are most vulnerable - the sick, the poor, the homeless, the disabled, the elderly, and immigrants who only want a better life in our country. These 'leaders' are setting a poor example for our young people.

Our schools could and should be a microcosm of society, a place where students learn to connect with and respect the diversity and background of their classmates as well as the history of our country, where we've been and where we need to go in the future. Students should be critical and empathetic thinkers, able to navigate their world, one which has evolved and will continue to evolve over their lifetime. Unfortunately, though, schools have become political hotbeds where teachers are often told what to teach and how to teach. Book bans, DEI (diversity, equity, inclusion) issues, whitewashing the history of our country, gender inequity, tensions between individual freedoms and collective responsibility - these issues point out the division in our schools which mirror the division within our society today.

Back in 2017, I wrote this as part of a blog, and it is perhaps even more applicable to what is happening today in the chaos in our country: I think it all can be traced back to respect . . . or more accurately, a lack of respect. As parents, we teach our children to be respectful, and in school, mutual respect is expected. "Treat others the way you would like to be treated."  As school leaders, we have a responsibility to lead with respect. We know that a positive school culture is essential for student learning. We want our staff, our parents, and our students to feel that they can make suggestions or share their ideas. We know that listening to different viewpoints can only make the discussion richer and ideas to flow more readily. We value diversity of opinions, and we want students to ask tough questions because that can lead to deeper learning. Listening and respecting other viewpoints, elements in a positive school culture, are essential if we want our students to learn and grow as informed and contributing citizens of this world.

If we want a better world in the future, we need to focus on our young people because as the Native American quote says, “We don’t inherit the earth from our ancestors. We borrow it from our children.” Our children are our best hope for the future, and our schools need to be firm in their commitment to teaching and learning that values the sharing of ideas, honest discourse, and the understanding that it’s okay to disagree. After all, our ideas can change as we go through life.

Schools need to model kindness and respect, and students need opportunities to contribute positively to their family, their school, and their community. This needs to be a priority, as important as academics, especially in middle and high schools where we often see challenging behaviors that mirror what we are seeing on mainstream or social media. We want students who are empathetic, who have strategies to deal with conflicts, who treat others with respect and concern, who are kind, and who care about the world they will inherit.  Our students today will be the leaders we need tomorrow to heal our fractured nation.

In these challenging times, choosing kindness is one of the most powerful ways we can connect, heal, and build a better future together.

To the Recent Graduates

Our grandson graduated from high school recently, and he will be attending college in the fall. We have watched him grow from a baby to a fine young man; the time has passed so quickly. What awaits him in the future? Frankly, I am concerned about the country and the world he will now be navigating as an adult.

I graduated from high school in 1969. It was a tumultuous time in our nation’s history with a president who was elected on a “law and order” ticket who would, a few years later, resign in disgrace.  The Civil Rights movement suffered from a leadership void after the assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr. the previous year.  Through my years as a college student, our country was involved in an unpopular war in Vietnam and Southeast Asia. Eventually, over 55,000 young Americans lost their lives in that war. Students held anti-war protests on college campuses, and when the National Guard was called in at Kent State, shots were fired, killing 4 and wounding 9 students. 1969 was the year of Woodstock, the iconic music festival that attracted approximately 400,000 people with a huge lineup of performers, and an abundance of drugs. 1969 was also the year that our country landed a man on the moon. 

Back then, we didn’t have cell phones or immediate 24/7 access to television news. I lived in a dorm on campus, and we had a small TV in the lounge on the first floor. Watching the nightly news was not on our agenda. Back then, I believed that politicians and elected officials had our best interests at heart. I was trusting but also poorly informed. 

Over the years, my trust in our political leaders has been shattered many times, but never as clearly as in the past few months with this President and his administration. (Read Chasing Marbles here.) And it’s getting worse.  The good news is that people are not taking this administration’s actions lightly. They are fighting back. Millions of people in over 2000 cities in our country participated in the “No Kings” Protest today. Groups are mobilizing to fight back against authoritarianism and a President who behaves like a king when our country was founded as a constitutional democracy. All of us - ordinary citizens - have a responsibility to vote to elect those who will make the best decisions on our behalf. We can be part of the solution.

What we’re seeing on the news can be frightening, but we are not helpless. Ordinary citizens and organizations are banning together and we are making a difference. My husband and I are part of a growing organization called Hawai`i Coalition for Civil Rights, composed of a diverse group of concerned citizens. We share concerns about how the President’s actions impact those in our State and plan how to ensure that our residents are supported. I’m hoping we can get our young people involved as well; after all, it is their future that is being impacted by today’s actions. 

I have hope that our young people are better prepared than I was when I graduated from high school. After all, they weathered a pandemic and learned to navigate new technology with more confidence than most adults. They can share opinions on matters that they are interested in. They have many more professional options about what they aspire to in their future. As these recent high school graduates begin adulting, here is my advice to them (not in any particular order):

• Know your values and what you believe in. This is your guiding light, your moral compass, and your reason for your choices in life.
• Choose kind. If we all choose to be kind to others, the world would definitely be a better place. Treat others with respect; this is what is sorely lacking in this Administration. 
• Be adaptable. Our world is changing rapidly so you will need to adapt as well. Ask questions. Learn new skills. Try new ideas. Flexibility is essential to survive in today’s world. 
• Make connections, be curious, and keep learning. You are entering a space that is new and sometimes scary whether it is continuing your education, getting a job, joining the military, starting a business, or something else. What you learn today can impact you in the future. Don't hold yourself back. Be a lifelong learner.
• Take care of yourself. This means taking care of your physical, mental, and emotional health. You can’t take care of others if you don’t take care of yourself first. 
• Make a difference. Your actions can help to create a better future for others in this world where we are all interconnected.
• Be informed. Know what is going on in your community, your state, the country, and the world. There is no excuse for not being informed when we have access to information all day, every day.
• Use your voice.  Your voice matters. Register to vote. Volunteer. Get involved. 
• Make time to explore and discover new ideas and new passions. Be a lifelong learner. 

One of my favorite quotes is from Mother Teresa: “I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.” There’s so much to see, to hear, to learn, to discover, to create. 

You have the capacity to make this world a better place. Create ripples.