Eight Years Have Passed . . .

 Yesterday, we celebrated my Mom’s 96th birthday! It was a 4-generation celebration with kid-created Halloween games and activities at my sister’s home, a pot-luck dinner, and birthday cake and ice cream. It was such fun to get together and celebrate this special occasion!

Mom still lives by herself in the home she and Dad bought back in 1969. My siblings and I take turns bringing her meals and staying with her in the evenings. She is, for the most part, quite pleasant and we are grateful that she is generally in good health.. 

I wrote a blog post, “A Tribute to a Special Lady,” eight years ago. Our Dad had passed away two years earlier, and I regretted that I never told him know how much he influenced me as a Mom and a principal; I didn’t want to make the same mistake with my Mom so on her 88th birthday, I shared this blog with her. I know she was touched when she read it. When I published my books, she was visibly proud. That meant a lot to me.

I decided to publish this blog again because it is still meaningful.. Mom, like others her age, has been diagnosed with dementia, and she doesn't read anymore. But maybe I can read it to her and she will know how grateful I am to call her "Mom."

A Tribute to a Special Lady

Published on October 18, 2015

Tomorrow is my Mom's beiju, her 88th birthday, a special one for the Japanese. The beautiful thing about being in Hawaii is that despite being generations removed from the first immigrants from different countries, we still celebrate certain cultural events, and the 88th birthday has special significance.

My Mom is a private person so we won't be having a big celebration - just the kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids who live here in Hawaii. It'll be a nice time to gather to celebrate with this very special woman.

Grandma died during childbirth when Mom was just about a year old, so Great-Grandma Waka helped to raise her and her two older brothers until her dad remarried when my Mom was in the fourth grade. Great-Grandma Waka died just before I was born and my middle name is Wakae to honor her. My Mom sometimes reminisces about the things she did when she was younger, and I think I get my "tomboy" personality from her. She graduated from Mid Pacific Institute and Honolulu Business College and was working at Dole Plantation as a secretary until she met my Dad and got married. After that, while we were growing up, her main "job" was wife and mother.

Back when I was young, I didn't realize how much my mother shaped our lives. It couldn't have been easy; there are five of us siblings, and at one time, there were four children ages five and younger.Yikes! I look back and wonder how they managed on my Dad's paycheck, but they were resourceful. Dad had a garden where he grew a variety of vegetables that were served at dinner.The least popular was okra; Mom tried to cook it in different ways so we would eat it, but after that one harvest, Dad never grew okra again. There was a time when they bought chicks, and when they matured, we were in charge of collecting fresh eggs every morning. We lived in a plantation community so at that time, it was not a problem to raise a whole batch of noisy chickens.

Mom did all the right things to nurture our love of learning. We recited nursery rhymes, listened to stories and poems, sang songs, and made up games. We went on free field trips. We regularly went to the beach where my Dad went pole casting or diving. I didn't realize back then how lucky we were to have fresh fish for dinner, and during lobster season, we even had fresh lobster. When we got older, we helped Mom make musubis, veggie sticks, hash patties, fried chicken, and teriyaki for a picnic dinner. Those foods tasted extra delicious after a swim! We took trips to the mountains to pick guava or lilikoi that Mom often made into jam or jelly, and fern shoots or "monkey ear" which were then cooked with meat and other vegetables for dinner. We also took yearly trips around the island where we'd stop at certain beaches or natural attractions. Along the way, we'd sing songs or play games like spotting out-of-state license plates or a particular car color, or counting different service stations (Shell, Chevron, etc.). We were all competitive and hated to lose; that's how we all are to this day.

When I began school, I was the youngest in my class because I was born in December. I loved school, and at that young age, I decided that I was going to be a teacher when I grew up. But I was young, and my fine motor coordination was not up-to-par with the rest of my classmates. When we began handwriting in first grade (those were the days when kindergarten was more about social and emotional development than academics), the teacher said I needed practice. Every afternoon, when others were out playing, I had extra homework; I had to practice writing letters until I got them right. It was painful, and more-than-once, I cried at the injustice of it all. I really tried, but it was a challenge, and when I had to erase a letter, the newsprint often tore. I never asked my Mom how she felt about "forcing" me to do handwriting homework, but I'm sure she was glad when I finally "got it" and didn't need that extra practice.

When we were young, Mom sewed all of our clothes. We'd look in magazines or catalogs and pick out a style we liked, and she'd measure us, go to the store to buy material, draft the pattern, and sew it. At that time, I didn't realize how special we were to have one-of-a-kind dresses. The only store- bought dresses we owned were those we received at Christmas or birthdays from our grandparents or uncles and aunties. How I wish we had pictures of us wearing those dresses Mom sewed for us!

In their own way, our parents encouraged my siblings and me to do our best in school. Without putting pressure on us, we nevertheless got the message that we were expected to try hard in school and to go on to college. When my youngest brother was in school and we were old enough to take care of ourselves, Mom went back to work. After a number of temporary jobs, she began working for the Mililani Town Sales Office and quickly rose to the position of executive secretary. I'm sure our family could have used the extra money if Mom had gone back to work earlier, but we appreciate that during our growing-up years, she was there for us.

I went on to college and became a teacher and now, I'm a school principal. All of my siblings went on to successful careers in different fields. This is a tribute to the sacrifices Mom and Dad made when we were growing up as well as the experiences they exposed us to that shaped our lives and gave us the drive to make a difference for others.

Today, my Mom lives by herself since Dad passed away two years ago. My siblings and I take turns checking in on her, and she really enjoys those days when my sister brings her granddaughter over to Mom's to babysit. Mom is still recovering from a fall she took earlier this year, but being the proud person she is, she refuses to use a walker or cane. I know she'd love to go traveling again, so that remains a goal for her to get better more quickly.

I know that Mom is proud of her extended family, and tonight, we will celebrate her 88th birthday. The values she imparted in us, her five children, are now evident in her grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

Happy 88th Birthday, Mom!  We love you!

It’s Been Awhile

A couple of months ago, I casually mentioned to my husband that I might discontinue blogging. As a retired educator, I found myself questioning my relevance to today’s educators. Much has changed since July 2018 when I retired including a worldwide pandemic that schools are still recovering from. I worried that what I had to share was not what educators wanted or needed to hear. My husband asked me a simple question: “You tell educators that they should be sharing their stories,” he said. “Why would you stop blogging now?” Ouch! He was right. We all need to step back sometimes; I stepped back for a little over a month, and now, I’m mentally ready to write again.

Last week, I hosted an “Elevating Teacher Voice” blog study and discussion via Zoom on the What School Could Be community.  Steve Shapiro read his blog, “If We Truly Care about Teen Mental Health” and we had a thoughtful discussion afterwards. This is an important topic, one which concerns me, one which high-achieving schools rarely talk about. They are focused on having the highest test scores in the district or having the most students who receive Advanced Placement credits, or having a high percentage of their students accepted to prestigious universities.

Many students in high-achieving high schools feel pressured to do everything possible to get into a “good” college. They take Advanced Placement (AP) courses, participate in athletics, take leadership roles at school, do service projects, and strive to be the best all-around student so they can get into the college of their choice. Unfortunately, in their effort to stand out, their physical, social-emotional, and mental health can take a toll. (Listen to this podcast which shares one young person’s experiences: “A Letter to My Younger Self with Emmy Huefner”) With all of their responsibilities, these students don’t have time to just relax or to pursue something that would impede on their schoolwork and activities. 

Participants in the “Elevating Teacher Voice” discussion shared what schools in their area have done to focus on students’ well-being such as limiting the number of AP classes a student can enroll in per year or doing away with class rankings. In his blog, Steve Shapiro shares six actions which schools, families, and the community can take to help students be happier and healthier, mentally as well as physically: 1) Slow down and cut back. 2) Center learning rather than grades; 3) Redesign school schedules to maximize opportunities for meaningful student and teacher relationships: 4) Increase opportunities  for students to do work in school that is interesting, meaningful, and satisfying; 5) Change the conversation about college; and 6) Work relentlessly to help students and parents redefine success.Great advice!

The value of a blog is the thoughtful discussion that it can generate, and I believe this is an important topic that impacts our students. Should school communities be preparing students to be who they want to be or what we want them to be? Do students have time to explore and discover what they are passionate about or what they’re good at, and are they given permission, time, and support to try different activities? Isn’t it time we agreed that a student is not defined by their test scores or grade point average or the number of AP classes they take or the number of colleges or universities they get accepted to? Let’s change what school could be - a place for deeper learning, a place where students learn with and from each other, a place where they can create and share their learning with others in their classroom, in their community, or even in their world. Our students deserve it.

A Note: With all the talk about AI and ChatGPT and education, I seriously thought about trying it out for this blog. I have seen people’s posts or writings using this AI tool; I was impressed. I’ve heard that it’s easy to use and can be a time-saver when writing things like letters of recommendation. If I were still working, I have no doubt that I would have tried it out already. But would AI help me to write a better blog? 

Writing a blog is personal, and although it might have taken me a shorter amount of time using AI, I believe that struggling through the process is what makes each blog post meaningful for me and a true reflection of my thoughts. ChatGPT will have to wait. 

How Can Students Help?

 On Tuesday, August 8, we were traveling to Las Vegas to visit our son and grandsons. We took the red-eye, and when we met up with them for breakfast on Wednesday, our son asked if we heard about the fire in Lahaina. “It’s really bad,”  he said. “People were jumping in the ocean to get away from the flames.” It was difficult to believe. The TV was on in the restaurant, and we watched in disbelief. These past few days have been difficult as the number of fatalities keep rising and the photos and videos show a town that has been devastated and destroyed. In an island community like ours, people are all connected, and it’s hard not to know someone who has been impacted by the fire.

I remember the trips we took to Lahaina to watch the boys play tennis years ago. I remember the trip Randy and I took back in 2006, walking through the town and seeing the iconic banyan tree . I remember our trip to Maui in 2017 and our walk through historic Lahaina town (read my blog here). Most of the landmarks I recall are now gone. 

Randy and I visited the museum and the courthouse on our last visit to Lahaina. So many artifacts and historical pieces were lost in the fire. 

We were discussing this tragic occurrence with our grandsons. What caused it? Could it have been prevented? How has climate change impacted our world, and how can we prevent another Lahaina fire, not just here in Hawai`i, but in other parts of the world? I recall visiting Maui a few months ago and seeing so much land that is now vacant once the sugar and pineapple companies left the island. What other ways can we use that agricultural land? We are the most isolated land mass on Earth, and we need to learn from this tragedy as Lahaina is rebuilt.

I recall the students at our school making a difference for others - 3rd graders doing chores around their home and collecting funds for the Red Cross after Hurricane Sandy; 3rd and 5th graders collecting items for homeless shelters; 1st graders spearheading a school-wide school supplies drive for students at a school in Houston after Hurricanes Harvey. These are just a few of the projects our students were involved in to show empathy for others who had or were experiencing major challenges in their life. 

Students learned about “wants and needs” via this project to help students their age who were impacted by Hurricane Harvey. 

Hawai`i residents are already donating goods and opening up their hearts and their wallets to the people of Lahaina who are and will continue to be impacted by this tragic fire. As an educator and a former principal, I hope that schools from around Hawai`i and the country will see this as an opportunity to have students ask questions, come up with ideas, and to make a difference for Lahaina. Four schools have been impacted by the fire (Hawaii News Now report) and King Kamehameha III Elementary School was completely destroyed. I remember seeing the school on my last visit to Lahaina. The school has and will continue to have a long and honored history (Read about the school’s history here.). This is truly a school that has the support of its community. 

I often share this Native America quote: “We don’t inherit this world from our ancestors. We borrow it from our children.” Our young people are much more aware of the problems we face in our world today. They will be the problem-finders and creative problem-solvers we need to make this world a better place for all of us. Schools can be where students can become passionate and active learners to truly make a difference in our world. They should be asking questions, searching for answers, discussing, collaborating, sharing, and gaining the skills they need to be contributing members of our society. 

That’s what school could be. Let’s work together to make school relevant in this changing world. 

My Request to Teachers

Recently, I had the opportunity to share my message at an intermediate school here in Hawai`i. The title of my presentation was “Educating with Aloha,” a reference to my book where I describe aloha as “love, compassion, empathy, and respect.” I shared the slide below and talked about how important it is to build positive relationships - teacher with students and students with other students - from the first day of school. We talked about how important a safe and trusting environment is where all students feel that they  belong. Finally, I encouraged teachers to get to know their students’ strengths, interests, and talents and to work with them from a strengths-based lens rather than a deficit-based one. Teachers then shared strategies they use to build community and a sense of belonging in their classrooms from day 1.

 I know things are tough and many teachers have left or are leaving the profession. Those of us who have committed our professional lives to educating and working with young people have, I believe, a responsibility to mentor and collaborate with other teachers to ensure that our students have the best educational opportunities to impact their future.

According to a recent study, teacher responses indicate that “meaningful work” and “colleagues” were the top two reasons to stay in the profession. Those of us who spent many years as educators realize the positive impact we can have on our students and how we can make a difference in their lives. What could be more meaningful than having a positive impact on our young people and helping them to realize what they can do to make a difference in the lives of others? 

A recent study indicated that only 10% of educators would strongly recommend the profession to a young adult. I realize that there are many reasons for this including compensation, work load, and insufficient support staff. However, our world depends on educating our young people. I am very concerned about the future of education when teachers don’t see the profession favorably. 

 I shared this slide during my presentation.

I changed one word (in red) in my previous slide. What works for our students in their classrooms - positive relationships, a safe community, a sense of belonging, and honoring the strengths and interests of the staff - should also be applied to teachers in their school. Good ideas become great when teachers collaborate to create lessons or projects to meet the needs of their students. New teachers to the profession or the school should be welcomed for what they can offer, and veteran teachers could be their “marigold,” someone to go to with a question or just to chat after the day is over. And just because the teacher is brand-new doesn’t mean they have nothing to offer. I know that many experienced teachers relied on younger teachers when the pandemic hit and schools went virtual. These veteran teachers learned of the many online resources available and became more comfortable teaching via Zoom or another virtual meeting site. 

Back in 2019 in our pre-COVID 19 world, I wrote this blog (Will Teachers Become Obsolete?). In this challenging post-COVID world, I am very concerned about the number of teachers leaving the profession or how young adults are discouraged from becoming teachers. This is why I encourage all teachers in a school to commit to  building positive relationships and a caring community of support where everyone feels they belong and can contribute. 

Here is my request to teachers. At the end of the day, reflect on something positive that happened. It could be something that doesn’t seem like much to someone else, but it means a lot to you. Maybe a student spoke up in class for the first time. Maybe that challenging student thanked you for caring. Maybe a lesson went exceptionally well and the students didn’t want to stop for lunch. Then go and share it with someone - another teacher, the student’s parent, a counselor, your principal. Imagine if every teacher did this at the end of the day. We would realize that there are so many positive things we could share and celebrate! Of course, we know that there will be problems as well, but if we can focus on the positive first, we may realize that the challenges are less challenging.

Our children are our world’s most precious resource. We need teachers who will advocate for their students and for the profession. Our children deserve it!

Make a Teacher Smile

 The other week, I saw that I had a message in LinkedIn. Frankly, now that I am retired, I don’t check my LinkedIn page regularly. When I saw this message and the name of my former student, I was absolutely thrilled! I showed it to my husband, but I don’t think he realized how much it meant to me. Here’s the message:

There are those who say that teachers only remember the students who were challenging, the kolohe or rascal ones. That’s definitely not true! And it certainly isn’t true with this former student. He was in the first 2nd grade class I taught at Wheeler Elementary  (prior to that, I taught Head Start and preschool special education). He was outstanding, produced quality work, was polite and respectful, an all-around student, and well-liked by all of his peers. I thought about him every-so-often, wondering what he was doing now (I am not surprised that he is doing very well!) I think about some of the other students in that class, too, like the girl who discovered a love for writing and said when she wrote her first book, she would dedicate it to me. Or the boy who was a little awkward socially but was such a whiz at math and figured out math puzzles faster than I could. I wonder what these students are doing today now that they are adults, maybe with families of their own. 

Every student I had the privilege to teach made me a better educator. Teachers really do make a difference in our lives. A note from a former student (or a message in LinkedIn) will definitely make a teacher smile 😊. Do it today; it’ll make their day!

Aloha, Iwak ❤️

 It's been 17 days since our Iwak passed. We weren’t prepared for it, and I realized how much he filled our lives with unconditional love. 

 I went through all my photos, found the ones with Iwak in them, and saved them in an album, titled "Iwak." It helped me to reminisce about him, how we brought him home and how he became an important member of our family. I had a difficult time putting into words how I felt so I decided to put together a slide show about Iwak. 

Shortly after Iwak passed, we received a card that was signed by the staff at the veterinary clinic. The personalized messages from the veterinarian and the staff meant so much to our family.

This was the card they sent to us. 

Aloha, Iwak. Ahui hou,

 

“Gifts without End”

 Yesterday, my husband Randy and I attended a National Kidney Foundation of Hawai`i volunteer event at the Downtown Art Center, a “hidden gem” which opened three years ago in a City-owned building in Chinatown. As I strolled through the gallery, I was intrigued by a particular display.

There were five quilts panels made up of unique 7 inch squares, art pieces which were a tribute to a loved one who was an organ donor. Next to the artwork was a short description of the donor. I thought of our son, Jarand, whose corneas were harvested to give sight to two people. He passed away five years ago in Nevada from Chronic Kidney Disease, and I wrote about an event we attended for families of organ donors.  (Please Consider Being a Organ Donor.) 

Yesterday, I learned that the National Kidney Foundation of Hawai`i was key in the formation and continued support of the Hawaii Donor Family Council and the Family Bereavement Support Group. NKFH doesn’t just focus on kidney health; they are involved in all aspects of helping us improve our quality of life through education and free health clinics. Please contact them at https://kidneyhi.org/ if you would like more information. 

We were gifted two books at last night’s event.

As I sit here reading the personal remembrances and gaze at the photos of those who contributed to these books, I am filled with an overwhelming sense of gratitude for those who, in their time of great grief, nevertheless gifted life or the gift of a better quality of life for someone else. They truly give “gifts without end.”