Learning to Trust in a Time of Mistrust

Turn on the news, scroll through a feed on social media, or listen to a public conversation and a common thread emerges. Doubt. Doubt about what we are reading or watching or listening to. Doubt about what leaders are saying. Doubt about how the same event or speech can be communicated in such a contrasting manner. 

Meanwhile, our young people come to school with questions about what is going on in the world. What is the truth? Who should I believe? Should I be scared? Who do I trust?

Teaching has always required trust. Trust in the teacher. Trust in the school. Trust in the content that is being taught. The classroom should be a place where trust matters, where fairness matters, where student voices matter, and where questions matter. Making sense of the world is a part of learning, and school is a natural place for students to engage in sometimes-difficult discussions. 

In many ways, what is happening throughout our country and our world today stands in contrast to what is possible in a classroom or in a school where trust is a critical component. Our schools could and should be places where students learn to be critical and empathetic thinkers, able to listen to the concerns of others who have different lived experiences. Students should be able to civilly discuss issues and respond to questions which impact them today and in their future. 

It doesn’t start in high school. It starts with our youngest students and builds from there.

Teachers can embed trust through discussions about literature or current events using intentional questions. Students feel trusted when their questions, opinions and viewpoints are validated during discussions. Even our youngest students can explore difficult ideas with no “right” answer, looking at an issue from a different perspective, one that students might not have previously considered. Classrooms can be places where students listen to understand, where initial opinions can change through honest discussion, and where trust is built when being exposed to different viewpoints. These moments are not accidental. They are purposefully created by educators who understand the importance of questions, discussions, and reflective conversations with no “right” answer.

But this can be difficult for some educators who worry that a complaint could result in disciplinary action. In such an environment, teachers may choose caution. But when teachers ignore difficult conversations something else is lost. Students lose opportunities to practice active listening, to grapple with new ideas or opinions, and to realize that ‘we can agree to disagree.’

When our classrooms are safe places for students to discuss important issues that impact their lives, we are  giving them something meaningful to take with them: trust. In a world that feels divided and chaotic and where conversations become loud and confrontational, classrooms can model something different: a place where people listen to understand, where disagreement can be civil, and where trust is built by listening to others. 

It is what our world needs today. Let’s equip our youth with the skills they need to successfully navigate their world. 

“How We Thrive”

 I never shared with anyone that I had a secret dream of becoming a writer of children’s books. When I was little, I loved going to the library to borrow books and thought it would be wonderful to write one. But as I got older, I realized that writing a book would be a major undertaking so I never followed through on that idea.

When I became an early educator, doing research on literature for our youngest students, I realized that there were very few picture books with multicultural characters. Maybe, I thought, I could write books for our youngest students with characters that reflected our communities, much like the Peter books by Ezra Jack Keats. 

Well, life happened, and I forgot about writing books for children. Besides, I have never been good at art so I abandoned the idea. I have not written children’s books, but I became a blogger and wrote two books about my experiences as an educator and school leader. 

I’ve been reading a book “How We Thrive: Caring for Kids and Ourselves in a Changing World” written by Stephanie Malia Krauss.  I was hooked from the first sentences of the Foreword written by Stephanie’s 12-year-old son, Harrison Drew Koali`i Krauss. “Some adults think kids have it easy, and we are lucky to not deal with the responsibilities and demands of everyday life. But kids get stressed out. I know I do.” 

This book flows well. Stephanie divided her book into 3 parts: Prepare for Rough Weather, Protect Our Human Essentials (Body, Mind, Heart, and Spirit), and Rehuman Our Lives. The charts, tables, and illustrations by Manuel S. Herrera made it easy for me to visualize in my mind what Stephanie is sharing. I find myself wishing this book was available when I was still raising our sons and working as an educator because there were so many reminders about how we need to take care of ourselves so we can take care of others. Stephanie shares studies as well as real-life examples of people doing amazing things so we can live purposeful lives. She weaves in her roots in Hawai`i and how aloha has special meaning that others can learn from.

As a retiree, I am reading the book through a different lens, and what I realize is that it’s not too late to make time to try something new. I don’t intend to run a marathon or learn a musical instrument or take pottery classes. But recently, I have been doing dance exercises to YouTube videos and I am really enjoying it. At my age, I know that I need to keep physically active, and I can do this daily, even when I am on vacation. It feels good to move and to perspire! 

And then the thought came to me. Since I once had aspirations of being an author of children’s books, why not try writing one?  It was easier than I thought with guidance from ChatGPT. AI is amazing! I shared my ideas, and ChatGPT gave me feedback and helped me to organize my thoughts.

This story was based on an experience our son had when he was a young boy. He doesn’t remember it, but I do because for the first time as a parent, I realized that I could not interfere. This “failure” would define how he approached new challenges in the future. Here’s a “copy” of the book. At my age, using AI to create something is pretty awesome 😊

As I wrote in my book, “Leading with Aloha: From the Pineapple Fields to the Principal’s Office,” “In our busy world, we often put our children or our family or our job first and take care of ourselves only if there is time. Too often, we schedule our kids with multiple activities such as sports or dance or tutoring, leaving us exhausted and running from one activity to the next. This may mean rushing to get dinner started or picking up fast food if it’s getting late. The kids are grouchy because they still have homework to do, and parents are annoyed with the kids for grumbling. Let’s take a deep breath and really reflect on how we’re spending our time.”

“How We Thrive” has made me re-examine my life up till now and I realize that as long as I am healthy, I can still live life to the fullest while also finding time to relax. That means new and renewed experiences, friendships, learnings, and opportunities to make a positive impact in our community. 

Thank you, Stephanie, for reminding me that we can thrive while caring for our kids and ourselves in this ever changing world.